Knowing when to treat, shout, or split….
Last Saturday evening I met someone originally from Hong Kong now living in the States. For some reason we got into a conversation to do with paying the restaurant bill. Being an animated person, Judy acted out the ritual undertaken by Chinese as they go about treating their family and friends to a meal. It begins with a vocal group protest mixed with a ton of shouting as one person’s hand tries snatching the fragile receipt off someone else and stuffing it plus the money owed, into the waiter’s hands. The ritual is completed with a triumphant glow on the winner’s face and laughter from the losers. No one loses face and everyone retains their honour.
For someone who is unaccustomed to this style of “treat” the shouting and play-fighting could be intimidating the first time around. Not knowing whether to sit and watch, to look the other way, to let out a sigh of despair or an awkward laugh. And, when is it appropriate to sit back and let someone else pay, when to offer to pay the bill yourself or split the bill amongst the group?
My rule of thumb has always been — expect the unexpected.
While Chinese may put on a show to save face, Japanese, Koreans may not. Japanese usually opt to split the bill with you, and may become embarrassed if you choose to pay the bill (speaking from personal experience). Koreans treat you if they consider you a guest, which is pretty much all the time. Young Koreans may not offer at all if you’re much older in years than them. Even Southeast Asians carry out acts of kindness beyond their financial means to honour a guest. When it comes to Buddhist monks, expect them not to offer anything other than a prayer. Here it is an honour for you to pay for them as most monks lack finances. So, if you are on a tight budget be careful when offering to take a monk out for lunch — and this can happen.
On western shores particularly in English speaking countries, I’ve found that people tend to have similar ways of going about paying for the bill. There are those who like to perform and there are those who slink off to the cash register to pay, or discreetly hand over the money to the wait staff at an opportune time.
When it comes to business dinners, well there are etiquette books to help anyone in need.
Some lingo differences to consider:
In the US it’s “my treat”, in the UK and UK English speaking countries it’s “my shout” or I’ll shout (not literally).
“I’ll get this” means — “I’m picking up the check”.
“Tab” or “check” means bill in the US. Bill means check (tab) in UK English speaking countries
Back to the Chinese ritual. If you have the privilege of being invited to dinner with Chinese (no matter where they reside and from which country), you are considered a guest someone special, and a fuss will be made of you.
by Cate
Caffeinated Traveller
The Australian New Zealanders love to hate
Despite the ongoing friendly jabs that occur between New Zealanders and Australians, and I’m saying friendly because it is (Kiwis don’t stick their national flag all over their luggage as an identity statement), there is one Australian darling New Zealanders despise with intensity.
It may be small in stature, it may project a sense of vulnerability to those uninformed, but on New Zealand soil this cutesy furry creature has caused harm with a capital H.
Meet the humble brush tail possum, a protected native to Australia, found in Sulawesi and Papua New Guinea, a destroyer of native wildlife and bush in New Zealand, and coveted by trappers and furriers for luxury clothing lines.
via Middle River
Unlike the American possum, these darling little critters fare much better in appearance and fur. Tree huggers they are not, possums spend most of their time in the canopy munching on young green shoots supplementing their diet with yummy tasting crunchy eggs of native birds, fruits from native bushes and shrubs, basically whatever they sink their teeth into.
How did these land loving animals make it to New Zealand? Early European settlers felt the need to develop a fur industry in the country since there weren’t any native animals around. What these great visionaries didn’t consider was that the country also lacked natural predators. New Zealand became the perfect environment for breeding en masse, New Zealand was to the possum, Utopia.
In the 1970′s possums numbered around 70 million, these days the numbers have been halved due to the growth of a local fur industry which produces woollen and fur products for the domestic and international market. Known as eco-fur the industry has the support from the New Zealand Conservation Department plus the World Wildlife Fund as well as 99.9% of New Zealanders, but little in the way of support from foreign visitors.
Tourists tend to side with the possum, as all good animal lovers do and why wouldn’t they? These creatures are cute, soft and have big moon-like eyes and just look so adorable. But like any visitor that has outstayed their welcome, possums are messy, noisy, and destructive.
via TB Free NZ
I haven’t decided whether I support the possum fur industry or not. I’ve seen the destruction by these animals but I’ve also seen the extreme measures taken to eradicate them — poison pellets, sprays, traps. I do have a pair of possum wool gloves, some of the warmest gloves around. How humane can culling a pest be particularly when it is an introduced species? Every country has issues with introduced species I guess. What are some pest problems you have in your area/country?
Caffeinated Traveller
P.S Head over to Laura @ TraveloCafe for a post I wrote on Xi’an’s ethnic Hui. Thanks Laura!
Rumbling of the gods:Taiko
There is something mesmerising about watching a person play the drums. Be it the Beatles Ringo Starr or Genesis Phil Collins, the amount of energy created by a single instrument can wake up quiet audiences and send rowdy ones over the top.
Add a group of fit looking figures dressed in specially designed outfits including arm wrists, head bands, ninja style footwear (and sometimes aprons), and drumming takes on a different dimension. The only vocals heard in these performances are the commands given by the lead or a group cry. There is no singing or dancing in this type of performance. It is the drum and only the drum, it is Taiko.
by Cate
The Japanese word Taiko can be translated as “fat drum”, which comes in varies shapes and sizes. Originally made from ancient tree trunks the modern style Taiko is made from thin (wine) barrels with quality cowhide laced or tacked around the top. Drums big enough to house a small car carry a deep throaty roll while the smaller drums hold a similar sound to a bongo. Historically the sound made frome the drum were associated with the rumbling of the gods and were introduced into religious ceremonies and activities as a result.
by Cate
Whatever the size, these drums are played with a pair of chunky wooden sticks and require hours of practice at a specialised Dojo (school) hence the players great looking arms and upper bodies!
by Cate
At the Morikami Gardens Bon festival, the local Taiko group put on an intense performance with drums that rolled and pounded, sticks that clacked in unison and fancy footwork that resembled a slow dance. There is something about watching drummers do their thing.
Not everything was being performed on stage, however. A faint sound coming from the back of the tent could be heard on several occasions during the group’s performance. Out of sync with the group, the pounding would stop short, only to start again when least expected. The drum being played didn’t resemble the roll of thunder or any form of music, more like a clunk from a novice player. Yes he may have been young in years but he was definitely mature in heart. Meet up coming Taiko drummer, Sky.
by Cate
At fifteen months young master Sky had the ability to figure out the correlation between hitting something hard and making sound. A potential scholar in years to come, Sky also had a great pair biceps.
by Cate
The sounds of the Taiko can be capitvating but watching a performance — well crafted — is even more so. One of the popular groups on the international circuit is Yamato. You can catch a glimpse of their work below.
If you’re curious the price of a drum depends on the size and materials, but you can expect to pay anything between $2000 – $15,000 a piece.
Caffeinated Traveller
Celebrating Obon, Japanese and American style
“We should leave now”, Joe was anxious about the traffic.
I was skeptical and shook off his concerns with a smile.
“This is not Japan … I can’t see the festival being that popular with Americans and in this heat (high 90′s) — and humidity — (high 70′s).”
I got it totally wrong.
Streams of cars crawled along a road that lead away from the town’s centre. It felt like a funeral procession. Drivers payed attention to fluoro clad attendants waving light wands, and to the bright whirling lights on parked police cars. This wasn’t a crash site, this was the entrance to the Bon Festival at Morikami Gardens in Delray Beach, southern Florida.
Obon or, Bon, is one of the main Japanese festivals held yearly in August when the heat is extreme and the humidity is intense. With its origins in Buddhism, Bon celebrates death or rather the departed spirits of ancestors. As a build up to the actual Bon celebrations, Japanese spend time spring-cleaning their homes and around their ancestors graves. These rituals are not uniquely Japanese and are also carried out in Buddhist countries like South Korea and Taiwan in line with their own celebrations.
On the first day of Bon, Japanese call their ancestors back home with the lighting of lanterns and fires to guide them. On the final day of celebration these ancestral spirits are sent back by putting lanterns into streams and rivers letting them float downstream to the ocean.
During the festival historic cities like Kyoto and Nara hold their own celebrations. Kyoto holds a popular bonfire event which is really all about watching fire but there is a little more to this than flames dancing on wood. In the evening once the sun has set and the sky is dark, the surrounding hills come alive.
Five enormous bonfires are lit but these bonfires aren’t ordinary stacks of wood and the bonfires aren’t ordinary orange blobs of flames on the landscape. Everything in Japan has a meaning behind it and so do these five bonfires — three in Chinese characters and two in other shapes — all are symbolic to Bon. Each fire lasts around 30 minutes and are lit within five minutes of each other. The biggest and most famous bonfire is the character Daimonji, meaning large or great, which is lit first and usually lasts the longest.
It was six years ago when I crowded onto the rooftop of an arts centre in Kyoto with dozens of other wide-eyed foreigners and local Japanese ooohhing and ahhing at the orange glow in the distance. This was one of the best controlled burn offs I had ever seen.
via Wiki Commons
Close to Kyoto is Nara City, Japan’s ancient capital prior to Kyoto and famous for deer. Every year Nara holds the Lantern Festival in line with Obon. Over 10,000 lanterns made of paper, glass, metal and stone are lit in temples, at shrines and displayed throughout the city streets, waterways and in Nara park. It is spectacular walking around the lanterns lighting the old stone temple steps, an inner calm finds you and takes hold. It’s not about finding your Self, it’s about being present. Forget your camera — or miss the moment.
via 1.bp
Uncertain what to expect when I attended the Bon festival at Morikami Japanese Gardens, I went with low expectations despite the professional looking promotion on its website. Because I had seen the “real thing” in Japan the bar had been set high, but I wanted to share some of my past experiences with Joe who had a growing interest in Japanese culture.
Off we went late in the afternoon down to Delray approximately thirty minutes drive south. First impressions are lasting and when I look back on Saturday’s event, what really sticks out from the rest is the crowd. Bon at Morkami was a crowd drawer. People in summer dress along with young women outfitted in Yukatas packed the stuffy marquee to standing room only. They patiently sat through the slow methodical female dance performed then were mesmerised by small-framed women who pounded and rolled Taiko drums and chimed symbols along with some strong looking men. All of this done in the heat with little in the way of cooling devices. And the crowd was patient.
Stalls and vendors gave visitors a glimpse of Japanese cuisine from yaki soba (stir-fried noodles) to Kirin Beer, offered a few mismatched pieces of second hand goods and some museum goodies (parasols and pottery), which I will be going back to buy.
by Cate
But it wasn’t only the cultural aspect that attracted the crowds. Around the pristine lake with its flora and fauna pruned and sheared to perfection sat hoards of camera holding spectators waiting under the sun, waiting for the light to end,waiting for the lanterns and fireworks.
by Cate
Since I had seen the real thing in Japan on numerous occasions and enjoyed the events at Morikami Gardens during the daylight hours, the thought of sitting it out for the lanterns didn’t grab me. With the sweat building up, the gnat-type-flying-things intensifying all I wanted to do was cool down. Thankfully Joe initiated the idea of leaving early.
Perhaps next Bon I will wait it out for the lanterns and fireworks, I’m glad hundreds of others were enlightened enough to know the virtues of being patient. I know mine is a work in progress.
Next post will be on the Taiko drums. Stay tuned.
Caffeinated Traveller
